Black Women Need Rest, Too

An Invitation Into God’s Presence

I drove down the California coast with my mother, the city in the rearview and our destination set on Pismo Beach. Though it was a ministry trip, I knew two and half days away would be a welcome respite from homemaking and homeschooling. I knew I would be refreshed even with an assignment to pour out to others. 

We arrived Thursday afternoon, keys in hand and grateful to see two bathrooms and two bedrooms as our accommodations for the weekend. The environment was already set for quiet and solitude. I don’t know how you retreat, but I’m learning that everyone does so differently and at their own pace. For me, I enjoy setting intention by  formalizing entering into sacred space and leaving home behind. I mark this as uninterrupted, special time at the feet of Jesus. 

It wasn’t always like this. My domestic monastery that focuses on education, prayer and hospitality is hours away. But here, I am not tasked with serving Christ by way of meeting others’ needs. No, on retreat, I can just be. And I fully relish that type of rest. As a matter or fact, I need it and prioritize it as a discipline of my own spiritual formation. This is how I shed, grow, and flourish as a woman fully known by God, who needs time to lay burdens down and pick up the Father’s love. 

I unpacked slowly. Hung up my clothes with care. Placed my toiletries on the vanity by category. Unfolded my prayer shawl and placed it on a chair with my Bible. Set up my laptop for study and worship music. Opened the balcony door to welcome the sound of ocean waves. This was the moment I prayed for but thought was out of reach. This was the place of peace I dreamed of but reasoned, “It’s too soon for a getaway; you just returned from a family vacation.” 

All of the excuses floated away as I settled in knowing a retreat is not a vacation. This is not a girls’ trip. This is not even a wellness weekend. Real retreat, real rest is sacred time to be with Jesus. But what do you do when you simply can’t get away? 

When I was a young mom, I stayed enamoured with Christ’s hidden years. You know, the quiet development of Jesus from ages 12-30 years-old so aptly wrapped up in Luke 2:52: “And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” That was all I needed to know I was not alone. Hidden, head down, and at home…just like Jesus. 

I deduced a way of living that set me on a treasure hunt for quiet simplicity and a profound love for everything small. Homemaking formed me, Brother Lawrence walked with me, Spurgeon schooled me, St. Therese of Lisieux was a friend. I was a nondenominational pastor’s wife feeling more Catholic than charismatic with each passing year. 

Now here I am with children who are much older, who help with the home chores, and are growing increasingly more and more independent leaving me with free time I didn’t think I’d ever have. I am free to write this blog now, free to spend two nights in Pismo Beach, free to preach more on weekends, free to say yes to teaching a mother’s Bible study in Bayview, free to carpool a neighbor’s kid to theater camp, and free to run a marathon. 

And I am free to champion the real need for urban women to experience retreat right where they are. My gratitude for the spiritual formation community is deep with appreciation. It is these practitioners, researchers, and theologians who provide resources, tools, and experiences for rest. But I ache for the busy and faithful woman who can not afford the mulit-night getaways. She looks like me. She is juggling family and ministry and needs an invitation to just be God’s beloved. 

I wrestle with a  holy ache to see spiritual formation restore the dignity and depth of Black women’s spiritual lives. We are often valued only for our service (amazing singing and dynamic exhortation) rather than seen as beloved image-bearers invited to rest, abide, and be loved. I want to reclaim contemplative Christian practices by rooting them in the lived experience, ancestral wisdom, and sacred traditions. Lastly, it is my prayer that we can reimage spiritual formation as communal, Spirit-empowered, and Christ-centered.

It is not enough that I got a chance to rest. What would do the most good is seeing trinitiarian life flow in our orthopraxy enabling all of us the same invitation, the same resources, the same opportunity for rest. 

So if my spiritual formation practice does anything, may it be the start of offering retreat to the women who have carried the burdens of ministry without always being carried themselves. With God as my help, may my next retreat be for those who serve faithfully but rarely stop. May it be a call to remember that our souls matter and we can rest together. All of us.

Reflection Invitation

You don’t need to leave home to have a retreat. I was able to create sacred space at home for the last 17 years with rhythms that invited the Holy Spirit and others to encounter God’s peace in the middle of the bustle. I encourage you to find a corner, read this scripture, play this song, and linger in prayer with me today.

A scripture to read: Mark 6:31 He said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

A song to sing: First Love – Romanced by a Warrior

A prayer to pray: Oh God, Meet me in the middle of my business. Sanctify the monotony of my everyday with your touch. Make holy the tasks of serving others as I practice your presence. Meet me in the mundane. Purify the pace of my many tasks and my hurried moments. Jesus, remind me of your hidden and practical season as a carpenter’s apprentice. Honor the work of my hands and shape me in this season where I am. It is my responsibility to do so much. But you can do so much more. So I give you this quiet moment so it can carry me further than my worry ever could. I trust you to be ever-present. Open my eyes to see you everywhere and in everything. Amen.